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Post by Countess on Sept 13, 2024 22:21:53 GMT
Somehow, even with that underlying euphoria... she is still somber. It is keeping her from breaking down entirely, surely, but... Rogue breathes deep, steadying herself. It gives her a little thrill, and she wonders if there is something influencing her... even if it is just a little. She doesn't mind, truly. It makes this easier.
That feeling falters at the mention of Genosha. "What?" she asks, just a little in shock, but mostly out of grief. She has barely known this young woman, and already her heart aches for her. It also swells for her. To be so gripped by the need to help their brothers and sisters... Rogue knows that call. She has answered it, many times. She still answers it, though she has such little hope still.
".... You will lose parts of yourself," Rogue murmurs. "Things you cherish, things you don't. It will be slow, at first, then all at once you will feel the great chasm between who you were and who you are," she says. "My advice is this- be careful what parts you give up, and give them up on your terms. No one else's. When I was younger... when I was with the Brotherhood... Erik played a large part of me giving up a part of myself I regret. Survival isn't just living to the next day... it is making sure you still have a life to live when it is all over... that you can even live with yourself with what you've done.
"... Choose wisely, Emily. I would never stop you. We all serve in our ways. Just... just be careful. If you run into a woman named Mystique... be even more careful."
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Post by lvsphinx on Sept 14, 2024 3:30:21 GMT
To Emily, Rogue's advice was grim and a bit abstract, but still very practical. It's the type of advice she needs to hear, reminders to be very careful navigating her way forward. Reminders that she won't always be calling the shots. It's much better than being told not to go. Sowing doubt in her mind now would only compromise her effectiveness in the field later.
As Rogue speaks, Emily tries to keep in mind what there is that they have to gain, what will make her sacrifices worth it. If her sins and sacrifices meant bloodless freedom for all mutants, then she felt certain she could live with herself. Today, at least. "On my terms," she repeated, almost like a mantra.
At the mention of Mystique, Emily's eyes widened. "You know Raven? She-I-" "I look up to her", is what she wants to say, but that feels very unwise right now. Instead, she says, "Raven's part of our leadership at the M.L.F.. I correspond with her personally." Emily isn't certain she should have admitted all of that, but at this grave, this hallowed ground, the truth felt appropriate.
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Post by Countess on Sept 14, 2024 3:40:33 GMT
Rogue's eyes widen, too. "She's- she's my mom," she says, honest in her way, too. She takes a step back, looking around as if waiting for someone to walk out of the shadows and... well, do anything. There is such a strange mix of grief, fear, euphoria, and anticipation running through her. Her heart skips multiple beats, for many reasons. Last she saw her... it was not on good terms.
"Do not... mention me to her. I didn't know... you were so ingrained. I will not win you favors. I ran, Emily. They took advantage of little more than a child, and I ran. I am not telling you to leave, I am telling you to... be careful. Be careful what you let them take from you. Be careful what they order you to do. They-" she starts, then looks at the grave. "For a man who hated people who just followed orders... he gave me so many," she says, crumbling a little inside. She's the one that listened. The one that did what he said.
"I have... I have to go," Rogue murmurs, reaching into her bag. She pulls out a stone- she had picked it up for Erik when she was in Scotland. It isn't like the place meant anything to him, nor her, it just... is smooth, white, and she grabbed it for him. Quickly, she places it on his headstone, alongside many other little stones.
"I'm sorry. If... if you ever need someone, I'm... I am a teacher at Xavier's."
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Post by lvsphinx on Sept 14, 2024 4:33:09 GMT
Emily gets up from her dirt mound when Rogue takes a step back, her hand halfway outstretched when Rogue looked around in anticipation. "She's your- Wait, what-" She stops, not wanting to interrupt, listening to Rogue's warnings closely, a bit stunned. Mystique was almost an icon to her. For Mystique's own daughter to warn people about her, almost breathlessly, was a lot to take in. Emily didn't mention that she might be giving some of those kinds of orders herself. Rogue's impassioned pleas reminded Emily that those who would listen to her would have their own burdens to carry, so Emily had to be careful what to ask of others, and when. It was clear Genosha would test her in ways she still couldn't imagine.
Xavier's. Of course Emily knew the name. The headquarters and refuge of the famous X-Men. Emily counted Rogue lucky. "Rogue at Xavier's. I'll remember you. Definitely. It was a privilege meeting you. Thank you for your words. They're incredibly valuable, for me and for everyone else."
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Post by Countess on Sept 14, 2024 23:49:06 GMT
Maybe she shouldn't have put the stone down for her former mentor, former leader, former... everything. The one man she could touch without fear. He had once told her in his faith, stones were used in the torah as a metaphor for God frequently. Flowers were not customary- they eventually whither and die, but stones... they last. He also told her in Hebrew, the word for pebble, "tz'ror", also could mean bond. It was their bond, made manifest. Her thoughts, her memories, her feelings, her... everything, summed up in one little rock.
It is intimate.
Rogue looks away from the grave and all the other little stones, and she knows she is one among many. Emily is just a small part of something greater than herself.
"I'm sorry," Rogue says, and there is real grief, real reluctance, real fear in her tone. Slowly, she rises into the air. At the last moment, she turns, and her speed increases exponentially. The moment she is away from the flowers, the tears begin to flow, the emotions kept at bay by the euphoria hitting her hard.
She really thought he was.... hers. Truly. After their parting, she had never felt so alone. Rogue wishes she had known better then- he was just out to get her.
And she had pushed away the one man who wasn't.
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Post by lvsphinx on Sept 15, 2024 2:15:16 GMT
Emily silently watches Rogue leave, waving goodbye at her back as she left. Her gaze fell to the collection of small precious stones on the grave, reminded of a little treasure hoard. How many of these stones were brought here by other mutants, all of them drawn here by this icon? Emily knew that she was another pebble rolling down the mountain, but she hoped she would be the one to start an avalanche.
The young woman lingered at the memorial for a few more hours after Rogue left, reciting the rest of her selected readings, and people watching. She met a few more mutants while paying her respects, and even handed out a few MLF pamphlets. Eventually, she would leave too, taking a few pictures of the flower-covered memorial before departing. With this visit, Emily finally felt that her time for grieving was over. The time for actions was now.
[THREAD CLOSED]
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