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Post by Nomz on Sept 15, 2024 17:04:33 GMT
New York, Damian decides with agitation lining his shoulders, is annoyingly busy around lunchtime. There is little point in trying to run when the sidewalk is packed with civilians to the point where he can feel them on every inch of his skin. He can't stop them from pushing against him or knocking his injured shoulder. All he can do is keep the paper bag full of Thai close to his chest. Not for the first time, he is thankful that the owners insist on stapling it shut. By the time he makes it up to their apartment door, his smartwatch is pulsing a dull red at him and his jaw aches from how hard he has been clenching it. Damian pauses outside the door, taking a breath to gather himself and press his watch to his chin. Anything to get it to stop alerting him to the fact that he is late. Late enough to almost be Grayson-On-Time. That annoys him further and he has to struggle to reign it back in. The warm scent of the coconut curry reaches his nose, triggering a soft growl of protest from his stomach. Keys jingle quietly as he maneuvers the lock and then the door with the hand carrying their lunch. The dining room is a straight shot from the door, but he does his best to kick off his shoes first. " Barbara," Damian calls out as he pushes his oddly clean shoes under the seat to the right of the door. The front door swings shut behind him and he clicks the lock into place. |
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Post by Countess on Sept 15, 2024 19:52:12 GMT
Barbara is very, very aware of the time as the seconds inch by. She and Dames had a standing reservation today, and historically, he is always ten minutes early to anything and everything. She tries to banish the worry creeping in her belly, low and nauseating, as she fiddles with the table she already set a half hour ago. Her eyes go to the window a few times, glancing out onto the street as if Damian will just appear and everything will be sorted out... When he is actually late, almost ten minutes past their time, she has her phone out, getting ready to go DEFCON 1... she hears the jingle of keys outside the front door. A large breath of relief escapes her, and she lets the anxiety go...
"Hey," Barbara says from the kitchen. She can see him taking off his shoes just as well as he can see her filling glasses with ice and water. She can't smack him- verbally or nonverbally. From his time in the League, they expected him to learn lessons quick. All it would take is her expressing disappointment and he might shut down and push her out. No, she has to approach him like the child he is, and then some. Gentle, kind, encouraging.
"Everything okay? You don't usually take this much time, and an anomaly like this tends to mean outside forces," Barbara says, explaining her thought process for him so he doesn't fill in gaps on his own. "How is Mrs. Chakrii?" she asks, knowing the name of the elderly woman that runs the Thai place down the street. She is doing her best to show him things are normal, this is simply a conversation between two people, not a punishment or chastisement.
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Post by Nomz on Sept 15, 2024 20:07:19 GMT
Green eyes flicker up from his task, searching the space through the staircase to see Barbara in the kitchen and his expression is deceptively relaxed. Not blank. He knows enough to know that she would see that as the red flag it certainly would be. He swallows a little, turning to set the bag in his good arm on the table.
"My apologies for being late. My exercise ran longer than I expected and I lost track of time." Damian works to keep his tone flat and disinterested. It's hard. On his walk home, he had tried to figure out how much would be alright to tell Barbara. A small part of him just wishes he could tell her all of it. He takes the lifeline she offers him.
"Mrs. Chakrii is doing well and sends her well wishes. She was in the middle of trying to pull a new bag of rice down from the shelf where she keeps them. It was good I was there." Damian nods to himself as he pulls out two pint containers of Green coconut curry and two more of jasmine rice. He sets them in the center of the table before going back for another container.
"She insisted on giving us Khao Niaow Ma Muang in return." He shakes the container of sticky rice and mango a little in doubt before placing it down as well. "I found someone to train with and our next meeting is later this week. They are better than I am. There is much for me to learn. I will likely miss lunch on those days."
There. That should be enough.
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Post by Countess on Sept 15, 2024 20:17:20 GMT
Barbara can smell shit a mile away after half-raising Jason. She doesn't let her eyes narrow- that worked on Red, but it won't work on Damian. It will just make him more guarded. "It is no problem- I'm not due to class for another couple hours. Got time to walk me? It is so nice outside," she says, letting him know there is no hard feelings, nor true consequences, of him being late. She realizes now that she is treating him like a dog that had been beat too many times.
"I'm glad you were there," Barbara says, beaming at him. "I am sure she is, too. We shall feast upon the spoils of your heroism," she says laughing a little.
Alarm bells. So many alarm bells. Someone to train with? Better than him? It had taken him leaving the bat family for him to say Cass is the best of them, and it had the implicit suggestion that it was because he didn't consider him a part of them anymore. Barbara sets down the glasses of water and sits down. She always sets the table so they are next to each other- never across the table. Makes it less of an interrogation. She learned so much from the things Bruce didn't say.
"Someone to train with? Plus, better than you? That is very high praise from you, Dames," she says, carefully, warmly. "Tell me about them! If I am going to be missing you for lunches, I would like to know who is stealing you from me," she says, laughing again.
"Especially when you come home injured," Barbara says, dishing out her own food. She says it so calmly, not lashing out. Of course she noticed him not using his left arm.
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Post by Nomz on Sept 15, 2024 21:01:13 GMT
The idea of going back out into the streets of New York is about as appealing as stripping his skin off and sitting in a tub of vinegar. If Babs wants him to talk her to class, however- "I have time for that. I finished my work for the week on Monday. It was rather simple."
It is a complaint he has had about the American school system since the day he arrived in Gotham. Not that he'd ever had a formal form of education, but it was always best not to mention that to the lad. Drake had once and that had been a fight requiring more than just Todd and Grayson to end.
"You're just happy that it is sweet," he says with no real heat in his voice. It is the closest to teasing that he gets and he doesn't quite smile at Barbara. Instead, he focuses his eyes on his plate, finally sitting down and picking up a spoon with his right hand. His tongue presses into his teeth as she asks her questions and even points out his injury.
Lying won't fix this.
"She is a skilled fighter and bested me in a duel." So far it's the truth. The best lies hide in the truth. "I was overconfident in the moment that I could unbalance her due to our height differences. When I caught her leg on my shoulder, I caught her by the knee rather than the calf." A frown pulls at his lips as he scoops rice onto his plate, pressing a divot into the center for his curry.
"She brought her leg down on my shoulder and shattered it before pinning me down. I had a weapon to her throat, but even I knew she could have stopped me at any point." Damian's eyes narrow as he recalls what happened, pouring curry onto his plate and doing his best not to shift his shoulder at all. "She didn't even take her hands out of her pockets."
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Post by Countess on Sept 16, 2024 0:48:10 GMT
Barbara nods, happily at at that. She wants him to have options at the end of high school. She knows he doesn't see the importance of engaging with society like she does, because she has been in society all her life. There is a middle ground between it all, where he can exist in the world and still take part in it should he decide to. He may think he is an island, but Babs can see in his future a need for other people. Maybe platonically, maybe asexually, maybe romantically. He needs to know of to engage, how to exist.
"I just happy you're sweet," Barbara says, teasing him right back. She takes a spoon of rice, then curry, savoring the flavor. She does her best to focus on it, grounding herself. Another lesson from Bruce.
Babs listens to his explanation, noting there isn't a name or descriptor given to her further than Female. He is hiding things from her- he must be afraid of her lashing out, of her being upset about who this is. So, this might be someone she won't like. How to nip this in the bud?
"Dames..." Barbara says between bites. "How is your shoulder? That doesn't look shattered to me," she says, conversationally. Then, she gets a bit serious. "I love you. I love you so much, Damian. I am trying very hard to meet you on your level, and I hope I am doing a good job at that. I am both impressed and worried at the idea of a woman who, without taking her hands from her pockets, can shatter your shoulder... and possibly heal it. Please, understand, I am not upset at you. I understand the need to better yourself, by any means necessary. That was a lesson that the League taught you, but not one Bruce taught me. Would you be willing to teach me, too? You know the lines that we live by and I trust you so much to follow those lines, and you also know that there is a learning curve when transitioning from the life in the League to the life here with me. That is okay. I want to meet you on your terms, and make sure you understand I am here for you, not against you.
"Am I making sense? There are a lot of emotions in what I am saying, and that is okay. I care deeply about you and your mental, physical, and social needs. So, my emotions are understandable, as would yours be. You are allowed and encouraged to talk to me about things that make you upset, that annoy you, that you are worried about, that others have reacted negatively towards, that have hurt you, anything. I am here for you, Damian. I want to help you. It is okay. It really, really, is. I know it will take time for you to feel safe with me in that way, but I want you to know that is my goal. For you both feel and be safe with me."
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Post by Nomz on Sept 16, 2024 1:16:11 GMT
His spoon pushes through the rice and curry on his plate, mixing them in no general pattern as Barbara speaks. He had been told that he could reach for clarity, that he could find his voice. The only cost is that he cannot go back to who he was after. Did that include this?
The silence is heavy once Barbara is finished and the sounds of the city around them can just barely be heard through the glass. His eyes shift from his curry to his smartwatch to his injured shoulder. How much can he really tell her? Would she try to stop him from lessons? How is he supposed to explain to her that he doesn't know his terms? That the idea of being himself has no meaning because he doesn't know who that is?
"We came across each other by chance and she knew that something was wrong. She has always known when my mind or soul was in turmoil, but she has never taken a direct approach like this." The words are low, fleeing from his lips before he can lock them behind his teeth. "I knew the danger she posed even as I leapt into traffic after her. I will continue my lessons with her and, yes. She healed my shoulder. Most of it. The bruises are a reminder of my failure."
He still hasn't named his sensei and Damian knows that the bat and sister in Barbara will want that information.
"The Mistress of Death has offered to give me clarity and to teach me."
'Can you understand me?'
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Post by Countess on Sept 18, 2024 0:11:05 GMT
Barbara is patient with Damian. She can tell he is mulling somethin over, and it doesn't seem to help to press him for things. Instead, she continues her meal, dutifully getting a spoon of rice before dipping it into the Curry.
Then... It all falls into place. "Shiva... I have never had the pleasure, but Bruce was trained by her. Dick to a degree as well... Less training, more not killing," Barbara muses. She takes a bite out of her meal, letting her full mouth allow her some time to think.
"She must see a lot of potential in you, if she is training you. I will not lie and tell you that this does not worry me... because it does. If I tell you not to go, you will go and not tell me. I don't want you to be afraid to tell me things, because even if you do something that gets you in trouble... I am not going to beat you. I am not going to yell at you. I am not going to kick you out. You won't push me away, Damian. Thank you for telling me about this," Babs says, then reaches out very slowly to put her hand on his head and pat it.
It is not lost on Barbara that he does not answer her on possibly training her. She cannot stop the hurt, sharp and painful. Everyone has been treating her like a delicate flower, even after her healing, expecting her to remain Oracle because being Batgirl is too dangerous. Jason had gone back... though, people were more worried about his wanton violence than him being in danger. Barbara is allowed a secret of her own, right?
She has been on the streets for a couple weeks now. Not specifically as Batgirl, but... she's out there again.
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Post by Nomz on Sept 18, 2024 0:40:44 GMT
Damian turns that information in his mind as surely as his rice in his curry. Over and over. He hadn't realized that Grayson had had run-ins with Lady Shiva, though he had heard about Mr. Wayne training with her. It had spurred him on when his body had wanted to give up and lay in the sand forever. Damian had wanted to live up to expectations that Wayne did not have because Wayne wanted nothing from him.
The blank look he wears breaks as Barbara mentions that she won't beat him for being wrong and part of him knows it as the truth. That has been the oddest thing about the bats. They never hurt him more than needed.
Damian grows as still as a field of freshly fallen snow. His curls give way under Barbara's hand as she pats it. He doesn't know what to...do...with this. It doesn't hurt, but no one had really-
A scowl crosses his features, but he does not move away from the offending hand nor does his body turn defensive.
"I do not want your family knowing about this. Not even Mr. Wayne," he says carefully like his very soul is being measured by the words he picks. "Do that for me, and I'll teach you everything I know. Everything I have learned both from my previous and this current training with Lady Shiva and all I have learned from my mother."
Those green eyes lift and find Barbara and there is something so close to a plea there.
For a Wayne, at least.
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Post by Countess on Sept 18, 2024 1:16:02 GMT
Barbara has her own quiet moment of victory as Damian does not brush her hand away. That will be their thing now, little head pats. When he trusts her enough, it will be head kisses. Baby steps.
"They will not learn this from me, but understand... they will learn," Barbara warns him. "Especially Bruce. He has a nose for this," she says, the last bit a touch dryly. "When they learn, I will not hide it. Is that agreeable?" Barbara asks. It is a compromise between them. "Because when they learn... they will come to me, first. When they do, they are going to be very angry at me. Understand that there is a cost for this secret," she says, being reasonable.
"... I wanted to give you this when we had gotten closer, so you knew this wasn't about lack of trust, but my worry... I made a tracker for you, I'm the only one that can get into it. When someone else does, it will combust. There is a trigger on it that you can press, and it will let me know you NEED help," she says, reaching behind her chair into a bag. From there, she pulls out the little device, putting it on the table.
"If you want it, take it. I am not going to force you, I am not going to trick you, I am not going to stalk you. I am not Bruce."
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Post by Nomz on Sept 18, 2024 1:57:27 GMT
There is a dull, needling sensation between his lowermost ribs and Damian frowns as his sister speaks. An incredibly stubborn bend to his mouth shifts into place as he speaks, "They have no reason to be angry with you. My choices are my own and I would have made them no matter who I was with. They failed to keep track of me multiple times in Gotham and that is far more dangerous than learning from Lady Shiva."
"If they come for you, I will head them off." Damian decides as he lifts the little tracker, twisting it twice before tucking it into his pocket. His jaw tenses as pain radiates through his shoulder and back, but he does not cry out in pain. He knows not to show weakness because it has always been used against him. "There is no need for them to waste your energy when you have done the best you can. I am not-"
He pauses as he remembers overhearing the family talk about him, unknowing that he was nearby. The words are stilted, "easy...to engage with." He had not stayed to hear the rest of that conversation. What would have been the point? "In this, I will protect you, Barbara."
Determination starts to spread through his words, calm and sure. He fully believes in and intends to follow through with what he is saying. It is a side of Damian he has often been shown, but not one that has been applied in this manner. "I will train you so that you are never at the mercy of another. Especially that family. I will follow through where he has failed."
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Post by Countess on Sept 18, 2024 23:33:53 GMT
Barbara can tell when he has set his mind to something. Her lips purse a bit in thought. "Dames- they do have reason to be angry with me. You are under my roof, and there are expectations that I will keep you from doing things they think isn't okay," she says, rolling her eyes. "Not that it stopped them any," she says sarcastically.
"They won't need heading off. They will just want to talk. Just like I am not going to hurt you if I am upset about something you have done, they will not hurt me either. Disagreements can be settled with words, anger can be controlled without violence," Barbara says gently, then takes a particularly big bite of food to give her a moment to think. He is always running a direction she cannot quite imagine. He has taken the tracker, and that is great, but she saw the pain. She takes a deep breath.
Then... he says what he says. Mercy. Her breath catches a little. A shaking hand goes to her purse, pulling out a little pill bottle. She can feel it coming, and now is not the time. Not in front of Damian. Not in front of someone willing to treat her like a person and not a flower. Barbara opens the bottle, tapping out a pill to take with her water. It is quickly downed, and she knows it will kick in soon... so soon...
"Bruce didn't fail, Dames, I did," she murmurs, maybe misinterpreting his words. "I opened the door. I didn't even look. I didn't even act. I just... stood there. I didn't do anything that night."
A moment passes, and Babs can feel the calm settling on her. "Thank you... for being willing to give me the time and effort. I can't... ask anyone else."
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Post by Nomz on Sept 19, 2024 1:21:45 GMT
He senses the change in Barbara, eyes watching as she reaches for her purse and his hand setting down his spoon. The woman he is getting to know seems to strive for careful honesty and control over herself. The trembling, the pill bottle, the way she's speaking. He doesn't know what to do with this. It is not a skill he has.
Damian pushes out his chair as she seems to calm down a bit, and he climbs to his feet. Without asking, two stiff arms come up to wrap around her shoulders and pull her side into his chest. This is the first hug he has initiated with anyone outside of his mother and even those had been few and years between. It...lacks. He knows that it isn't as good as Brown's hugs. Damian is lacking, but, damn it, he is trying.
"Barbara," he says into her hair, chin barely reaching her crown. Damian does not have the magic words to make everything better. All he has is the truth and he blunders into something he hopes can bring comfort. "You didn't fail. It wasn't a mission and the only goal a person could be asked to achieve is to survive. You did that."
"No student of mine is a failure." He tacks on, wondering if the hug has lasted long enough. Was he supposed to pat her as well? "You don't- I don't need your thanks for this. Just use what I teach you to stay strong."
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Post by Countess on Sept 20, 2024 0:36:00 GMT
Of all the things, Barbara had not expected Dames to give her hug. The head pat to mirror her from before, sure, but this? No, not this soon. She needs it, though. Emotions surge forth, things she usually keep hidden away from herself. "I am going to cry now, Damian, and it isn't a bad thing, nor is it because you hurt me," Barbara says gently to him. This will likely be quite the shock for him, and the last thing she wants is to scare him or make him think he has done anything wrong. "I have a lot of big emotions surrounding this topic, and what you said made me very very happy," she tries to explain, even as tears start to run down her face, nose stuffing up. "It is okay to cry with family," she says, knowing she rarely cries in front of anyone but her father, Gordon.
Barbara turns to him, hugging him back. She is soft in this, careful not to touch or move his shoulder. "You are so strong, and learning anything from you will always help me be better," she tells him. "I love you so much, and I am so lucky to have you as my little brother," she tells him. She isn't ashamed to be learning from him, but rather that she might make him think less of her for these tears. The League... would not tolerate this. Not one bit.
"You are a very good hugger, Dames," Barbara says, wiping her face. "Come on, we gotta eat before this gets cold..." she says, laughing a little. It is wet from her tears.
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Post by Nomz on Sept 20, 2024 3:52:15 GMT
Damian tenses when Barbara tells him she is going to cry like a man bracing for a sandstorm. His arms curl a little protectively as she turns into him, words gentle with their warning, and he clenches his jaw. He trusts she's telling the truth when she says that he didn't hurt her, that her tears are happy even though the concept doesn't quite make sense to him.
He knows that tears are a sign of weakness and he is not allowed to be weak. But...maybe it is different for Barbara. Damian doesn't think she is weak for crying, not when she starts hugging him back and tells him that she loves him. That isn't a thought he knows what to do with. Part of him wants to argue that she must be mistaken and another part of him hopes she isn't.
"I am a terrible hugger," he argues even as he pulls back a little, tugging his sleeve down and reaching out to wipe at her face. He'd seen this in a movie once. It feels applicable. "I will get better."
Again, there is that weight of certainty. That feeling that something will be so just because Damian has decided that it should be. He gives her shoulder a gentle pat before sitting back down, grabbing his fork and finally tasting the green curry.
A mouthful of food buys him time.
"Tonight. Instead of patrolling, we can start training tonight." He pauses, thinking, and amends. "Or, if you have duties, we can start in the morning."
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