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Post by notdomino on Feb 25, 2023 19:22:18 GMT
Void
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Post by Bixir on Feb 26, 2023 4:25:12 GMT
Reply when finished!
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Post by notdomino on Nov 30, 2023 8:50:44 GMT
This took entirely too long, but done.
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Post by Bixir on Dec 8, 2023 4:32:05 GMT
It looks good so far! I have a few things I would like you to address:
You qualify the parasite as "multiversal". What does this mean? Given how much this RP has been flirting with other universes and dimensions, I would like this label to either be fleshed out if it's pertinent to this villain's story, or removed if it isn't relevant.
How does "keyless entry work?" Do the doors allow Revival Man to walk through walls? Travel far distances? What are the limits of this?
How fast is travel within this Realm of Doors? Does it appear as instantaneous teleportation, or is it more gradual?
In general, I would like more elaboration on how these key abilities work so that there isn't any confusion. Teleportation and dimension-hopping can be very powerful abilities if they don't have set parameters. I would also like a little more detail about who Jonathan was before the parasite claimed him. You hint at his character in part, but I would like more than that, if possible.
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Post by notdomino on Dec 9, 2023 23:50:20 GMT
It looks good so far! I have a few things I would like you to address: You qualify the parasite as "multiversal". What does this mean? Given how much this RP has been flirting with other universes and dimensions, I would like this label to either be fleshed out if it's pertinent to this villain's story, or removed if it isn't relevant. How does "keyless entry work?" Do the doors allow Revival Man to walk through walls? Travel far distances? What are the limits of this? How fast is travel within this Realm of Doors? Does it appear as instantaneous teleportation, or is it more gradual? In general, I would like more elaboration on how these key abilities work so that there isn't any confusion. Teleportation and dimension-hopping can be very powerful abilities if they don't have set parameters. I would also like a little more detail about who Jonathan was before the parasite claimed him. You hint at his character in part, but I would like more than that, if possible. - Removed multiverse term, it's not all that important. - Keyless entry is just creating a door out of any material. It has nothing to do with travel. Traveling distance, or "teleporting to a specific location" would need the creation of a key. Otherwise, it's just a power in which things like barriers and locks don't affect him. He can create a door out of any solid surface(unless a key is involved); the ground, bricks, wood, a wall, a rock face, bypassing a giant safe's lock, glass, metal, ceilings, etc etc etc all can be made into doors for entry. -It's about as fast as one could shove open a door or slam a door shut, so pretty fast. For example, the "pocket" RM has is as simple as reaching into his breast pocket, unlocking, and pulling something out of it before locking it again. - Is there anything in particular about Jonathon you'd like me to write about? |
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Post by Bixir on Dec 10, 2023 3:39:41 GMT
Thank you for the changes so far! This is what I was looking for.
As for Jonathon, I'd like to know about who he was before he was afflicted, especially his relationship with Stephen during that time. A couple lines of exchanged dialogue isn't enough for me to get an idea of what that dynamic was like.
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