The Start of a Good Bad Joke

Soon enough, people would notice the ship on the horizon sailing for port. Many of them lightened up at the prospect, and many more were happy to get some trading going. The sheer fact that they weren't even questioning who the brigantine belonged to didn't even cross their minds, as people would begin to liven up. Of course, when the ship reached port, they would hear the sounds of bells and drum beating. This instantly made those on the edge of the village begin to quickly abandon their chores, running into their houses as they attempted to lock and board everything up, stuffing wax into their ears for fear of hearing a joke that they honestly needed to lighten their days.

As the ship docked, a sudden quiet took over the town.... before the gang plank was set down to the dock, and various men walked out. Their clothes a mix of various styles and more importantly they noticed the number of weapons that their new visitors had. Swords, spears, pistols, rifles, knives, axes, hammers. All of them were armed to the teeth, a young man included who stood out with his more well trimmed and maintained clothing separating him from the rest... with the exception of a man with a long blonde and braided beard who stood in front of the group. He wore a captain's hat, a massive feather atop it that was ragged looking, and a smile that only a mother or jackal could smile awkwardly at. The people at port immediately became worried as the man approached and stopped with his band of 30 men behind him. "I'm Captain Blondie. Pardon the intrusion, but my men and I are quite thirsty, and hungry. You wouldn't mind showing us where the local tavern is would you? Oh, and if you don't mind, we'd appreciate it if you'd surrender any ideas of calling for help." The men behind him cackled as it became clear who and what they were.

Charles couldn't look up from the planks of the port as the captain of the ship made it clear their intentions. He cursed his luck, but noticed quickly how the people at the docks seemed to look defeated and tired. A man stepped forward, seeming to be the port master as he held his hands up, "We don't intend to fight.... Hell, we don't even want to.... but please listen to us. We'll give you everything if you can help us with a problem. Anything you want, food, berrie, grog, planks, gold, whatever. Just please.... help us."

The crew seemed to quiet down as they listened to what the man was saying. It wasn't until now that the jovial looking captain seemed to notice what Charles had as well.... He squinted his eyes at the man. "And what if I don't want to help?" he said with a challenge, quickly misinterpreting the intentions. "Who's to say I'm going to even keep my word and have my men spare you?" The portmaster sighed, "Then get it over with quickly. We're all tired.... We can't do anything without avoiding joy in our lives." He said, pointing at a sign that stated the village's warning. The captain looked at the sign, before smiling. "If this is a joke, it's an awfully bad one I might say!" He laughed, and the port master closed his eyes in disappointment. Charle could tell that something was off, but he couldn't put his finger on it, not until the crew and captain quieted down, and the distant sound of a drum and bells could be heard in the distance. The portmaster's face contorted into fear, before he looked at the pirate pleading, "Please.... we don't have much time, I can guarantee that we won't get in your way, you can take anything you want, just get rid of HER!"

Theresa would find that the edge of the town was abandoned, as usual, though it was clear that her arrival had been heard. Clothing baskets full of wet clothes were left outside, a ball colorfully red in appearance and contrast to the grey of the town rolled from the wind, bread and pies left on the window stills as a silent offering to hopefully get Theresa to leave without causing trouble. This was the common reaction at the outside edge of the village, and one that Theresa had been able to use to always stay fed if she wanted to.

Captain Blondie looked a bit unnerved as the Port Master was now at his coat tail, begging and pleading, not for his life, but to be saved from some little girl dressed as a clown. "Do ya take me for a FOOL!" The captain kicked the begging worm of a man. Captain blondie wasn't a charitable man. He enjoyed bloodshed, screams, and the thrill of thievery. The fact that the Port Master wasn't doing those things specifically towards the captain keep him and his men only made Blondie that much more pissed off. The Port Master was sent reeling back as he looked up to see the sword pointed at his face as he laid there only supported by his elbows. "You shouldn't be asking me for help you moron. You should be begging me to keep you alive! To spare you in exchange for your men or some bullshit like that! Yet you're asking, no GROVELING that I and MY men should go and kill a little girl! Oh, Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have spared any of you, but for you all to be so scared of a clown of a girl and likely the village fool.... You're making me sick.... We came for a fight, but you're just souring our mood."

Blondie's crew agreed in unison, as the sound of drums stopped and only jingles could be heard approaching the docks. All of the men were terrified, as they looked towards where the noise had seemed to be coming from. Even the Port Master seemed more afraid of the childish noise than of a pirate baring his blade. Seeing this was the last straw as Blondie pulled back his blade, raising it to cut the man down, only for Charles to suddenly speak up. "Why can't people laugh?" Blondie stopped mid swing, and looked back towards his crew with a glare. They parted as Charles was revealed to be the only one who spoke up. Honestly, he didn't know what came over him. He agreed it made no sense. Why would a village of men who could build a port like this be afraid of a girl?

"Sh-....She-she's capable of cursing us!" Blondie turned back, only giving Charles a glare as if to say there would be a punishment later, as he spoke, "Curse? There's no such thing as curses. You're just making up a lie." Suddenly the voice of a separate man spoke up, "It's TRUE!" Blondie was tired of getting interrupted as he pulled out a pistol and shot the man who spoke. Blood erupted from the man's chest as he fell back in pain. "If anyone else speaks aside the Port Master, I'll have my men cut all of you down." Suddenly all of the port workers seemed anxious. The immediate threat now being back on Blondie. He smiled at this. "Now that I have your attention.... What does he mean it's true." It wasn't a question, but a command.

"Th-The girl.... she was cursed since she was little. Any time someone laughs and she can see you doing so, you can't stop laughing. No matter how hard you try! We....We've tried fighting back, but she.... she threatens our children's lives if we so much as harm her....." Now it was clear to Charles why this man was so scared... or at least he tried to, but couldn't see how non stop laughter was dangerous. Laughing was a good thing.... no, he scratched that. These men laughed when they killed people or heard them scream. Blondie looked skeptical. "Laughter.... She threatens to kill your children... with laughter..... Hahahahahahahahah!" Immediately the captain laughed at the Port Master, and soon the entire crew with the exception of Charles did as well. He was the only one deep in thought as he began to wonder how it was possible to even force someone to die of laughter. Before Charles could ask anything else, Blondie wiped a tear from his face, having a good laugh, "Well you won't need to worry about that anymore. I'll make sure to get rid of the girl...." The port master's expression lightened up, his face filled with hope.... before a splatter of blood spewed from his chest, a crimson line erupting as Blondie smiled wickedly. "Because EVERYONE DIES! MEN! LET'S HAVE A LAUGH!"

The men cheered and laughed as bullets fired, and men ran forward towards the village through the back alleys. The only one to stay standing where he was in disbelief was Charles himself. Looking at the nearly black crimson pool that stained this otherwise grey town with color. Blondie searched the man, relieving him of a coin purse as he spoke. "Now..... Why aren't you following my orders...." Blondie said as he looked behind him towards Charles. The young man couldn't move, petrified as he stood there shaking. He hadn't wanted to be a murderous pirate. He wanted to be a Scribe, a Chronologist. Someone who wrote tales of a pirate that would go down in history as Jol E. D'Vil did! The Captain looked at him with a deathly glare. "Seems like I need to do something about this..... insubordination.... wouldn't want a mutiny on my hands, now would I?" Charles's face went pale....

---

Theresa had heard the gunshot before she reached port, as well as the sound of chaos and commotion. She'd not see the various men she heard, but she had heard where the large amount of laughter had come from. Then she'd hear around the corner the sound of a man talking. She couldn't quite make out what was being said, not with the noises of shattering glass or wooden doors breaking around a couple of corners. Who would be her first victim?

Blondie had been preparing to cut down Charles when the pair suddenly froze at the sound of what was basically a wet splat. Charles looking terrified as he had fallen backwards in fear blinked, before looking behind Blondie in confusion as he noticed.... a pie filled face of a girl? Blondie was just as confused, especially as he turned to see her lift her face, and proclaim herself. The man stared for a moment... only to smile. "You must be that girl that poor sop was talking about." the Blonde bearded man wearing a worn down looking captain's coat, a massive hat, and a big feather on it said as he turned and began to walk towards the girl.

Charles didn't know what to say. She appeared to be exactly as what the now bleeding out Port Master said, as she was clearly dressed like a clown.... well, a jester would be a better and more accurate depiction. Clowns did comedy and party tricks more than anything. A jester aimed to make people laugh, usually at the expense of others without them knowing. And she was doing exactly that. He remembered the warning that the man had given. Don't Laugh. "That can't be true..... You can't die from laughter, right?" Charles said, as he looked at the girl. Blondie approached her, before grabbing the back of her shirt and lifting her up to eye level.

"I hear yer a funny girl. Got any funny jokes for me? Get a giggle from this old pirate?" He stated with the same look as those blood thirsty bandits from so long ago. The boy, roughly her age seemed to be confused, though he was still fearful; though not of her. He seemed to have a different look. One that was almost like that old woman's. "C-Captain.... I don't think tha-" "SHUT YER TRAP! I WANT A FUNNY JOKE!" He said, before turning back to Theresa, "And If I don't get one that makes me die laughing, I'll just carve a smile into your face. How's that?"

Blondie looked at the girl as she began to ramble, looking offended first at the mention of being old, before his face became more and more confused as he honestly couldn't understand what she was talking about. His face was morphing into that of concern and disgust as he began to realize that perhaps this girl was honestly just crazy.

Charles though was listening, and he realized what she was talking about. In a sense, she was insulting Captain Blondie. However, she was also insulting people in general. How everything was a joke until you realized the comedy in it. As Charles listened, he felt as though what she was saying to the captain was true to himself as well. He had wanted to write a grand tale of a pirate captain and his crew; yet here he was not even getting spared a sheet of paper or even a feather or stick of charcoal. Blondie's crew would have their end when the marines caught him; and worse, Charles himself would be convicted as a part of their crew even if he denied it. Blondie wasn't destined for greatness........

Standing back up, Charles decided that he wouldn't follow these bastards anymore. But he knew that Blondie wouldn't let him escape; so he'd do as this girl had mentioned. He'd take from Blondie. He'd take his freedom back, then he'd take his life, and then he'd go back out and he'd make a story of his own rather than stand by idly as he was left to an unfortunate joke of a fate! He wouldn't be the subject of a bad joke! Taking his sword, he rushed forward, before making a swing at the Pirate as he screamed a battle cry of his own.

He imagined cutting Blondie down, saving this girl, and sailing off into the distance, traveling the world and even becoming the pirate king as he swung. However, this was reality, as Blondie had clearly heard the boy running at him. Still holding the girl up, Blondie didn't even look as he flipped his sword into a guard to stop Charles's wide swing, the clang of steel snapping Charles out of his fantasy as his face looked at the blade pushing against his own as Blondie slowly turned with a wicked smile. "AH! So you finally grew a pair? That's honestly funnier than what this girl is rambling, HAHAHAHAHAHA!" He started laughing before rotating enough to raise his blade over his head, dropping the girl as he prepared to cut down the guy. Charles could only stand in terror as he watched as it seemed this would be like the end of a bad joke.

Charles watched as Blondie began to continue laughing, almost like a villain as the glow of orange flames began to light the dull sky up.... He was laughing so much that it took Charles by shock when he saw the man suddenly let go of his weapon, grabbing onto his chest then his mouth as he seemed to be trying to..... Trying to stop laughing???

Then he heard the girl speak and congratulate him for his choice of not only action, but completely understanding what she had said. This entire situation.... It seemed unbelievable, yet as she watched Blondie continue to laugh, attempting to stagger back and grab one of his pistols, only to fumble it Charles suddenly realized that she had taken an interest in him.... Not just that, she hated that Man's laugh as much as Charles did.... How long had he dealt with their taunting..... How long had he dealt with playing along as the fool! Before him was a man who he had been shivering in fear of.....

Honestly, there was no honor or glory in this situation. Was there ever such a thing in the first place when it came to the Blonde Pirates? No.... They we're pirates.... They were just people who took pleasure in relentlessly killing people.

When she asked if he wanted to laugh.... To get back and just finally let loose, Charles smiled in a depraved method, his glasses reflecting the orange glow that was beginning to rise. "Yeah... I think it's time I finally get a chance to laugh, but not at someone who's powerless.... I want to laugh at this poor excuse of a pirate.... No, calling him a pirate would make Pirates look bad!". He said, chuckling as his face turned to a wicked and twisted grin of mania.

Blondie watched as the pair seemed more like demons.... No... Like devils! He couldn't stop laughing, his breathing beginning to turn ragged as he stumbled for the pistol he dropped, only to have it kicked away by Charles. "Ki-haha-kilhahahahaha cutuhuhuhuhuht hehehehehehehehr!" , Blondie tried to command the mad looking boy, attempting to do his best to sound intimidating, only to start coughing as he began to asphyxiate.

Then he heard the boy say something, "I thought you were a scary pirate, but I find it funny..... You look more like a a everyone else you killed.... Ironic honestly, and that's the funniest part of all this! Uwuahehehehehehe!"the boy cackled in a laugh that sent shivers down his spine as Charles raised his sword with sheer confidence. Blondie didn't even get a chance to beg for his life, he was too busy trying to draw in breath when he finally lost his head.

Charles watched Blondie's head rolling around, and found it funny, hilarious! "Uwuahehehehehehe hehehehe, Uwhahehehehehehehehe! ahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa!"

Why had he been so scared of a furry blonde ball? Hr couldn't help, but to laugh as he looked back to the girl. "Oh magahaha god!
I forgotten how good it felt to genuinely laugh!" he explained as he turned fully to her. "Shall we continue this comedy?", he asked, his eyes starting to become bloodshot through the lense of the glasses.

Theresa had never seen this effect before. The guy was not only capable of walking around, but seemed as insane as she was. As most people avoided her due to her curse she had never found anyone to actually understand what she found so funny, yet this guy got it. Now he seemed to be infected with her own laughter, and was even actually suggesting they continue, seeming to find this just as funny as she did and genuinely enjoying whatever joke played in his head. Now Theresa had a choice. She could revert to her old methods and simply make him laugh to death.... Or.... She could possibly change the boring nature of her life.... Pirates never came to this place .. merchants or maybe a fisherman who got lost, but never pirates. They were having their own fun in the village, but what had the village ever done for her?

"Oh, I just got the FUNNIEST IDEA!". He giggled as he pointed behind he towards the ship. "Let's do something to their ship! Set it on fire! Cover it in tar! Oh! Oh! I know! Why don't we steal it!" the boy stated, before running up to her and for once seeming really happy. Before he had looked sad, scared, and depressed. Beaten before ever having been harmed... Yet here he was, almost acting like a fool and kid. "Oh can you imagine how panicked they'll be when they start choking on the very flames they started?", he asked for her opinion on this choice. Someone was genuinely listening to her.... And he wasn't repulsed by her curse.

"Hehehehehehehehehe!" Charles giggled at the thought. "IRONY AT IT'S FINEST!" He yelled into the air. "You don't even know how many time's they've gone and done this! And the Marines? Oh, they were all fucking cowards! Not a single lick of bone in their spines! Might as well just be made of jelly!" He said as he picked up the now bloody hat of the former Captain Blondie, who's head was now a part of the grand show. Placing the hat on his head, he began to fit the theme of a pirate a bit more, what with the big feather, and such. Though he was definitely missing a coat, but who cared about that?

Smiling like a madman still, he shook her hand upon turning towards her. "Charles, Charles Henry the IV. Feel free to call me Chucky though!" He stated, now giggling at his own name. "Uwehehehehe! Chucky! I never considered it a funny name until now! It's funny, I've never been this excited or happy before now! It's like I'm.... I'm! I'm untouchable!" He said, as he placed his hand over the fire Blondie's head was in. Of course, the flame did lick his hand, and when he pulled out, he'd notice the redness, likely due to first degree burns. "Oh! I... I can't actually feel the pain!" He said, before looking back to her. "I don't know what's going on, but let's get to it then! I'll go ahead and prepare everything to set sail. I even know where a pair of spy glasses are so we can watch from FAAAAAR away!" He said, before running past her, only to stop and turn again, shaking her hand once more. "Thank you for this!" He said, before getting straight to work. "Oh! Best to grab anything you don't wanna leave behind!" He cried out as the sounds of screams and fire began to roar into the cloudy day.