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Post by luckystooge on Mar 16, 2024 7:34:23 GMT
Closing his eyes again, he takes a deep breath. He takes the time to analyze every little detail that he has knowledge of and pieces it together like a puzzle. Lucille is young. Her family fell to darkness. A Dream Eater emerged to help. It kept her alive and she survived because of it. She has her own merit but does not see it. She has been thrown into the thick of it and has had no choice but to go with the flow. Dream Eater, one of the originals, has surfaced for the first time in ages. It picked Lucille out of all people. Lightning had been training her and she had the basics down pat. There was even a time when she unleashed magic. All because she synced up, albeit briefly, with Cal.
"Because..." he started with a strained tone. "...Dream Eaters on their own cannot do anything. They are fueled by the desires of the Heart of those they bond with. They draw strength from the Heart and in turn, it will allow one to draw strength from its own...if the bonded wants to, that is. Otherwise, they are little more than pets." He looked down at his open hand resolutely then clasped it tight into a fist. "Tell me...you must have felt a resonance with this Dream Eater at one point. Otherwise, how would have ever shown such a marvelous display of magic? What was it? What made this talent of yours come to the surface?"
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Post by giantfiredog on Mar 16, 2024 7:59:00 GMT
Lucille sighs. She knew that was most likely the case, but she was just... Frustrated. Even moreso when he started pestering her questions. She throws up her hands. "If I knew that I wouldn't be sitting here sulking now would I? I spent literal years trying to get a weird door to open, then when it finally does I'm suddenly super fast and athletic. Then my parents died, I hid out in the shrine for a week, and then I met Cal on my first day here. It was the day after that I cast magic by just feeling emotions and stuff, which made the ice go woosh and bob's your uncle it's time to do some training," She explains, before scoffing. "And of course it HAD to be me because Cal decided to choose me. Apparently that's the only choice that needed to be made, who cares what Lucille thinks? Nobody bothered to ask what SHE wanted. Nobody asked if she chose Cal. I mean it's only a possibly lifelong commitment of struggle, frustration, and pain, no biggie right? Yeah sure let's rope the teenage girl who just lost her parents into training she didn't ask for in a world she doesn't know, so that she can fight and maybe die trying to help someone she just met fulfill a purpose she has nothing to do with. It's not fair!" She rants, slamming her fists into the dock as she fights back tears.
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Post by luckystooge on Mar 16, 2024 9:27:19 GMT
He opened his mouth to speak but the man could not find the right words to pass through them. What were the right words here in this situation? He reflected back on a few stories told to him and recalled others that were once in her position. Then he remembered his own and it made him choose his next words carefully. In response to the unfair circumstances Lucille found herself in, all the stately man could reply with was "Reality seldom is."
He held out his hand and held up a singular finger. "Miss Rydia lost not only her entire family but her entire town succumbed to the Heartless, not much older than you are now. Her saviour, Cecil, braved them in order to rescue her and for the longest time, she did not speak and grew frustrated, same as you. She cursed her fate, wondering why she was the sole survivor. She would not smile. She abhorred Cecil, wishing she had been left to her fate. And when I came to her aid,same as I am doing for you, she nearly took my head off." He lightly chuckled. "But then, none of us chose this life. Choice is a powerful thing and what we do with them define who we are. But Heartless and their ilk oft force us into these choices. Rydia could have remained distant, continued to wallow, and become another victim. But when she learned that she could do something..." He clenched his hands tight, voice rising with conviction. "...when she could make a difference, she made a choice; she managed to overcome and apply herself, look deep down, and push forward."
He was nearly shaking then eyed the pained Lucille sternly. "You also get a choice; never think that you don't. Calaguru chose you but you haven't accepted them. You might not be aware but Cal is very acutely aware of how you feel. It knows that you stand on the fence and are hesitating. Even Lightning can feel it. I can feel it. All Cal is doing right now...is awaiting the choice you decide to make. It wants to know how you feel. Right now, it holds your choice in the highest regard and finds itself at a standstill."
He once more shut his eyes and let Lucille digest the words he had spoken.
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Post by giantfiredog on Mar 16, 2024 10:27:53 GMT
Lucille grumpily listens to his tale, rolling her eyes as she responds. "You say I have a choice but I really don't. I just have the illusion of choice. Let's say I refuse, what then? I go back home to an empty house and try to make the best out of being an abandoned child? That's not a life worth living. Say I stay here in Scala Ad Caelum, everybody would just know me as Lucille, the girl who refused to help the masters with an important quest; I'd forever be branded as a quitter and probably be shunned by everyone I meet. Not exactly a life worth living either," She says.
She rubs her temples and growls in frustration. "And the alternative isn't great either. If I go along with this quest I've been voluntold to do I'll spend probably years at this rate just TRAINING for it, and who knows how long the quest itself will take. I might be well past the midpoint of my life by that point. When I finally finish it, what then? I retire? Having spent my best years dedicating myself to fulfilling someone else's dream? I have no stake in that. I have no stake in ANY of this!" She rants.
She turns to glare at him. "And don't you start on some bullshit duty response where you mention the Heartless are evil and I can save lives. That's a noble goal, yeah, but the Heartless aren't an enemy you can truly defeat, you can only push them back. What, I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life fighting? That's not who I am. I have no passion for fighting, I'm not a warrior, or an adventurer, or a hero—I'm just some girl. The only thing that makes me special is Cal, they're the only reason I can fight or use magic. I'm just an accessory, a side character in their story. What good am I if not for this?"
She sighs. "Look I don't HATE Cal, but I don't like them either. They're a complete stranger to me. It also doesn't help that their first is impression quite possibly one of the worst a person can have. My family and I were just civilians, we had never even seen Heartless before. When they attacked, they were after Cal—we were just collateral. I know Cal didn't mean for it to happen, but the simple fact of the matter is I lost everything because of them, and now they expect me to dedicate what little I have left to helping them? That's no foundation for a relationship of any kind, let alone a friendship. How am I supposed to 'resonate' with someone I owe my every grievance to, huh? Is there some age-old wisdom or anecdote you can pull out for that one?" She challenges spitefully.
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Post by luckystooge on Mar 16, 2024 19:33:20 GMT
He wrenches his hands and hears what she has to say. Most of what she has trouble with, he can clearly understand. But there was one factor that was quite literally something he could not fathom. She understood many things quite well and for one as young as she, she was very bright and could foresee many possible outcomes. Most being quite possible. But one in particular about infuriated him. One that reminded him why he himself was here. Finally, she had posed a very difficult challenge in his way and now he had to piece together an answer for which he currently had none. But despite all the emotions running rampant and hot through his being, on the outside he remained poised if not showing hints of his inner turmoil by way of his arms shaking.
"None. I have no words besides this; forgiveness and understanding. It's not an easy road to walk nor a short one either. Cal...you might not realize it but it is trying to make amends for what it has done. it feels guilty and doing what it knows best to try and assuage your pained Heart. It is not asking you fulfill its request right this very instant and knows what kind of journey it will take and is wanting to help you grow stronger." His voice picked up and became laced with held back abrasiveness. It contained his anger, his frustration, his conviction, and his desire to better understand Lucille's seemingly poor self-esteem. "However, you've already decided it seems on what path you want to walk. You've already decided that it all seems hopeless and that your actions mean nothing. You're fooling yourself into believing you have no say in the matter and just accepting it for it is at face value. That you're just a side character. No one is a side character. The only one who thinks that are those who feel they have no self-worth. We're all important and none of us alone are the hero. We're all the heroes. Together. We're not alone so stop thinking you are. You're not even giving Cal a chance. Something that is trying their very best to appease you. Tell me, is THAT fair to it? Is it? Something that is trying to show you you are more than what you envision yourself to be?"
He filled his lungs with the crisp air of the docks and looked away before returning a firm glare. "You...are more than what you think. I just wish that YOU can see that in yourself as I do. As everyone here does."
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Post by giantfiredog on Mar 16, 2024 23:51:51 GMT
Lucille groans at his pointed response. "And now you're putting words in my mouth. Not doing the best job at this whole helping thing, guy who didn't even bother to introduce himself," She bites back sharply. "I never said I wasn't willing to hear Cal out or give them a chance, but I haven't had the time to get to know them, like, at all. I met them on my first day here, and the very next day I was roped into training daily with Lightning and those drills made me so exhausted I barely had the energy to do anything other than sleep," She grits her teeth. "And I never said I felt hopeless either. Do you even listen to people you talk to? I'm angry and frustrated because I'm in a situation with no obviously right answer, with every possible option causing me stress or worse. Is that not a valid reason to be upset? Do you seriously expect me to take this all and be all stoic and pretend this doesn't suck? I didn't ASK for your opinion, you just walk up to me and start lecturing me acting like you know what I'm feeling when clearly you seem to care more about enforcing your worldview on me than on actually consoling me. Are you a teacher or a preacher? Cuz a preacher is just going to waste both of our times," She finally says, having stood up from her spot on the dock to face him directly now.
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Post by luckystooge on Mar 17, 2024 0:25:38 GMT
Ah. So that was the way of it. He had been reading too far into this when the answer just came right from her mouth. "No. I'm a listener and wanted to hear your thoughts by putting in a bit of my own. Does it feel better to admit these things? To get them all out in the open? You've obviously kept these raging thoughts to yourself without telling anyone...until now." He looked away. "We're not mind readers and it's best to share these thoughts before they get too out of hand. I apologize for saying what I did; I just wanted to hear the truth of it from your own voice. Eyes can only tell someone so much so i had to be a little rough and play an awful trick."
"But I will say this; things are bad and I don't expect you to pretend everything is all sunshine and rainbows. But holding it all in? Waiting for it to build up until you explode? You must know that it isn't healthy...as justified as you are, you needed someone to talk to about this. But enough about my own words. I'll shut up as my voice just seems to cause nothing but conflict..and the name is Cid. Cid Raines." His face bore a pained expression. Conflicted. Troubled. Undoubtedly, his mind too was now a storm that was just reaching out and grabbing at straws. This situation was unique but at the same time, reminded him of why he decided on the position he was now in. And what made it so difficult that he dared not let anyone else but himself have it. No one deserved to have such a burden. He'd carry it all by himself if he had to. Even if he was hated for it.
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Post by giantfiredog on Mar 17, 2024 0:46:38 GMT
At his first question she seems to pause, and then rapidly deflates as she stammers. "I... I-I don't know... I guess?" She ends up sighing and sitting back down on the end of the dock. "I'm not really any closer to figuring out what I want to do about all this though. This is the first time since I came to Scala Ad Caelum I've had time to really think about all this. Lightning's pretty much kicked me out of training so I don't really know what to do now..." She admits.
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Post by luckystooge on Mar 17, 2024 1:05:17 GMT
All was not lost as he initially thought. But a thought occurred to him as she stated what her situation with Lightning was and what she was doing right now. "I believe...this..." he gestured to Lucille as a whole. "...right here? Getting this all out now? Is one of the things she wanted for you. Lightning is...very much not a people person. But she can sense frustration a mile away and I believe, in her own way, was trying to help you work through it the one way she knew how which was through training. Granted, it was in no way anyone's fault but it caused damage that was not intended but enough about that..."
He sighed with relief. "Then let's hear it; what is it Lucille wants to do? You were given power, forced to train to prepare without anyone asking you what it is you wanted. But now that you have time to think, I'm very curious of your thoughts right at this very moment."
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Post by giantfiredog on Mar 17, 2024 1:13:15 GMT
Lucille rubs her chin contemplatively. "I really don't know. All of my options seem kinda bad but I guess if I'm going to be unhappy no matter what I may as well be cool while doing it, so I guess continuing the training?" She says halfheartedly before sighing. "It's just so hard to find the motivation to improve when there's nothing investing me though. Doing intensive daily drills and being put through the wringer isn't exactly something someone would go 'hey I have a great idea what to spend this free time on!' y'know?" She responds. "There's no way I can land that third hit on Lightning any time soon if I'm just going through the motions, but what other option do I have?"
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Post by luckystooge on Mar 17, 2024 1:34:16 GMT
Motivation. A handy tool. A carrot before the horse. But there'd be no heart in it if it made someone unhappy. Lucille wanting to become stronger wasn't the right type of motivation. It worked for Lightning well enough but Lucille was different and had different priorities. He was then reminded of something he had bought the other day from a local vendor. Crude woman, looked positively wild. The book itself was full of fluff but its inner beauty brought to mind the troubled girl before him.
"Lightning is fast but when you connect with your Dream Eater, you can reach that speed...or at the very least come close enough to be able to land a strike. If you can land that third hit, not only will it probably get Lightning to ease up...but...mmm..." He paused and scratched his chin playfully. Would this work?
"Mmmm do you enjoy books?" he asked simply, conjuring an idea in his head. "Because I just so happen to have something rare to read that I would be willing to pass to you if you manage to get that third strike in." He smirked, glancing at Lucille's reaction to see if she'd be at all interested. To see if this was a thing to motivate her properly.
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Post by giantfiredog on Mar 17, 2024 1:47:03 GMT
The first thing he says genuinely makes her pause. Would she actually be able to reach that speed? That seemed basically impossible. Her best idea on how to catch Lightning was basically making an attack in such a large area it's impossible to dodge... But she has ZERO idea how she can do that, since she still isn't able to reliably cast spells yet. She really needs to inquire about getting some kind of magic tutor at some point...
He seemed to initially list off some possible motivations, but the motivation to avoid the struggle kinda seemed counterintuitive to her. His next inquiry though did draw her attention. "I DO like books quite a lot. I spent most of my time reading before all this happened," His next statement made her mull it over. After a few moments she responds. "I see what you're doing and I can't say I approve... But lucky for you it's working anyways because I AM too curious for my own good," She admits plainly.
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Post by luckystooge on Mar 17, 2024 2:15:35 GMT
Everytime he counseled someone, it felt like he had just got through a battle. Though technically, it was a battle of words and not attrition or blades. He cracked a smile, finally. "Well then, take all the time you need; that book isn't going anywhere and you can relax. Go at your own pace." He looked to the largest building in Scala Ad Caelum which towered in the distance. "I'll have a word with the Masters and some of the Guardians. They'll understand...so long as you're working toward your goal and yours alone."
He turned away resolutely. "And if you feel the need to talk again, mention my name to a Guardian and I'll make time for you. Maybe I'll bring ice cream like Laguna does." he chuckled to himself at the prospect as he excused himself with a wave of his hand. After the Lightning came the Raines and now the calm.
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Post by giantfiredog on Mar 17, 2024 2:44:45 GMT
Lucille blinks. "O... Okay then. Uhm... Thanks," She says sheepishly, and decides to sit there on the dock for a little bit while Cid takes his leave. She sighs again. So she's gonna go through with it anyways, huh? Well she supposed there could maybe be some fun to the adventuring life if she ever got that far... And hey, at least learning magic's pretty cool. If she can get a tutor, that is.
After a while she ends up deciding to head home... And proceeds to get lost again and had to ask for directions. She's new around here okay? Cut her some slack. When she finally arrived home she'd find Cal dutifully waiting for her, and she noticed he had retrieved the rapier for her. She hesitates, but manages a smile. "That was... Thoughtful, Cal. Thanks. I'm gonna need it, after all there's one very fast woman standing between me and the next step and I'll need all the practice I can get," She says. She decides to turn in for the night after that, and for once her dreams aren't haunted by nightmares of that day...
For the next couple of days Lucille wouldn't leave the house much. She'd spend a lot of her time practicing her sword swings over and over again as well as doing most of the exercise routines Lightning had her do. It still exhausted her but hey at least she's doing it in the comfort of her own home right? But even still she couldn't really focus. She would stumble, flub attacks, and often forget which exercise she was supposed to do next. Her mind was still all frazzled and she rapidly grew frustrated. Eventually one evening she puts down her sword with an exasperated sigh and has a seat at the desk facing the window. "Ugh... It's just not clicking. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, it's not like I'm unmotivated this time. I just can't focus..." She vents to nobody in particular, though given Cal is no doubt within earshot she may very well be venting to them. Allegedly. You can't prove that.
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Post by ultralilly on Mar 17, 2024 3:15:42 GMT
Cal watched Lucille day in and day out, reminded her that it was time to eat and take a break when it was needed. The jiggly thing would flop about to lessen the stress as much as it could. Then one day, Lucille just plops down at the desk which to Cal felt very different. He looked at her quizzically and tilted its head to understand. When the word "focus" was spoken, Calaguru sprang up with a yip. It waddled over to a stack of books and pawed at one until it came loose and flopped upon the floor.
Then the Dream Eater would nudge it along the floor until it reached the back of the chair Lucille sat in. Cal then whimpered and barked/meowed to get her attention. The cover of the book had a human shape on the front with legs folded. It read Mental Exercises For the Clouded Mind and Cal looked insistent that Lucille should give it a look-see.
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